Oh…I Guess I Am the One Who Needs Prayer

By Stacey

Language acquisition?  So far it has been piles of fun.  Love it. Love it.  Love it.  Parenting?  Waaaaaay harder.  And in recent weeks we have asked pretty much every praying person to pray for our son Elias who is trying to squeeze in as much terrible two behavior as possible before he turns three in July.  And it has been rough. 

However, the other day, I had a total paradigm shift during a conversation I had with Dave.  It went like this…

Me: “You know, I really enjoy the kids and like having them around when they’re not screaming at me and peeing on the floor.” 

Waiting for affirmation and sympathy…

Dave: “Yeah, everyone loves those who love them.”

Silence.

My jaw dropped when Dave said this. I was expecting him to agree…and then he quoted Jesus. These words of Christ pierced me to the heart. It is easy to love kids (or people in general) who love me, but true Christ-likeness is to love those who treat me badly.  I later read this passage in Luke:

If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:32-33, 35-36).

I realized that I have been expecting respect and obedience in return for the service, discipline, and instruction I have rendered towards my son.  Granted, God does expect obedience from Elias, but that should not give me a sense of entitlement. Instead, I am to be like God who feeds people who thanklessly breathe his air and eat his food, even cursing him while doing so.  In the same way, if the ungrateful in my home are hungry, I am to feed them and expect nothing in return.  Wow, what conviction.

So as I have been meditating on this passage, I realized it may be that this trial is not primarily about Elias but instead is about me. Maybe the Lord’s purpose is actually my maturity, rather than his. Maybe I am to pray with as much zeal that I would love like Christ than I pray for him to submit and obey. Maybe this is not about him, maybe it is about me. Maybe I am the one who needs prayer.

And, since there is nothing new under the sun, maybe there are those reading this blog who are in a similar situation with a child, roommate, co-worker, family member, or someone who hates you because you are a Christian. Maybe this trial is not just about praying that the Lord would convict and save them (which are noble ways to pray), but maybe this trial is primarily to teach you to love those who hurt you. Maybe it is to challenge you to greet those who snub you, to freely share with those who take from you, to quickly turn bitter thoughts to thoughts of prayer, to do housework for a spouse that expects it but does not appreciate it, to speak kindly to those who make fun of you...

Maybe God is holding you under this trial until you reach a certain level of maturity. Maybe the Lord puts us in the families we are in, gives us the spouses we have, causes us to go to church where we go to church and work where we work in order to bring “enemies” into our lives so that he can teach us to really love. If this is the case, then God help us love and help us grow!

When missionary, Ann Judson, was facing a major trial her response was: “We wish to sit down under the rod…till the end for which the affliction was sent shall be accomplished.” May all of God’s goals in sending affliction into our lives be accomplished and may we love those who hurt us.

Happy Mothers' Day! Things I am So Grateful that my Mom Taught Me...

by Stacey

Thank you mom for forcing me to talk to people when all I wanted to do was hide behind you.  Without that learned skill I would never be here trying to talk to people in a foreign language.

Thank you mom for making me work hard.  I know I didn’t appreciate it as a child, but without those skills (and the Lord of course) I would’ve given up on basically everything I am currently pursuing.  Thank you for making me scrub the cabinets and clean the house even when it looked perfectly clean to me.

Thank you mom for your example of tireless service to your family.  “A woman’s work is never done” is what you’ve always said as you worked to serve our family.  You were an excellent example to me as I now try to serve my own family.

Thank you mom for protecting me from many evils.  I spent many a Friday and Saturday nights throughout my high-school years watching 60-minutes with the family and I am so grateful for such a “boring” life as a teenager.  I have few regrets and it because you and Dad told me “no” so often.  Thank you for looking out for me.

Thank you for telling me no.  Thank you for not allowing me to rule my own life as a child and a teenager.  Thank you for exercising your God-given authority for my good.  Thank you for not backing down even when I loudly protested.

Thank you for “making me” attend The Master’s College.  I was disgusted that this tiny Bible college didn’t even have a football team, but this place completely changed the course of my life and is also the place where I met my husband.  Thank you for seeing what was best for me when I couldn’t.

Thank you mom for always pursuing a relationship with me and now with my children.  You have always taken a sincere interest in my life and now you take a sincere interest in the lives of my children.  Thank you for caring about every sport I’ve gotten involved in, every musical I’ve been in, every major I pursued, and every friend who has come and gone in my life.

Know that there is someone here in France who loves you and appreciates you very much Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!

Closed Doors or Hurdles? Hope for the Aspiring Missionary (like me).

By Dave

If you have read our most recent newsletter, you know that upon arriving in France we realized that the school that we chose is not going to work out. I have to admit, it was pretty bewildering. I mean, we found cheap plane tickets, got our visas on time, received a free ride to the airport, survived 12 hours in the air with four young children, all of our bags made it to France...and the school is closing and cannot offer the hours they promised. How does that happen?

You might think we should be discouraged. And to be honest, if you were to ask the week after we got to France we would have told you we were discouraged. But, in the last 9 years of pursuing missions, we have learned that God's plans rarely mirror our own. So we started to look for other options, found another school that is about 30 miles away, contacted them, applied and we are moving tomorrow!

In reflecting on this turn of events I realsized that throughout the years I have often seen Christians that started in the direction of missions, but were thwarted by what they called "closed doors." Please do not get me wrong, I do think that there are people that should not pursue the international mission field. I believe that the Lord does lead his children, and sometimes that leading takes us away from a particular ministry. And I think that some people are more effective for the Kingdom of God in their home country. But what I have come to realize is that what some people consider to be "closed doors" may actually just be hurdles; stumbling blocks there not to stop us, but to force us to press forward with greater tenacity and dependance upon God.

Please feel my empathy friends. We have endured hardship along this path and we have no idea what hardship is to come. But if you are currently in a place where you are re-evaluating God's calling on your life because of a "closed door," would you take a moment and consider that it might just be a hurdle?

Here are some "closed doors" that I have personally seen keep aspiring missionaries from the field:

1. Rejection by a Missions Agency. The Lord has put us in a place where we have known many people who have been rejected by missions agencies. Applying for an agency is exhausting and often involves long applications, psych evaluations and a significant time commitment. So, to go through that whole process to only get a rejection letter in the mail can be crushing. And several times I have heard aspiring missionaries say that this was a clear sign from God that it was just "not meant to be!"

As it turns out, this is not a new phenomenon in the history of Christian missions. William Carey (a.k.a. the Father of Modern Missions) literally begged people to send him to India but for a long time. Yet those would-be senders told Carey that the Lord did not need his efforts to save the heathen. Adoniram Judson (first American Protestant missionary) changed his mind about baptism on the way to Burma and thus lost his financial backing. John Patton was told "you will be eaten by cannibals" when trying to convince people he should be going to Vanuatu. Gladys Aylward was rejected by the China Inland Mission because her academic background was insufficient and they thought she was too old to learn the language. I could literally go on for hours about missionaries who were rejected by organizations who have gone on to change the world.

Though some of us have probably said it, few completely abandon the thought of marriage because of a bad break-up. Brothers and sisters, there are other missions organizations in the world (more fish in the sea?). And many of them are awesome! God may in fact be guiding you away from missions because of the IMB (or CIM, or whatever), but this certainly does not have to be the case. If every person who was rejected walked away from missions we would have a lot fewer amazing stories of God being glorified in the weakness of people like these.

2. Money. For most people pursuing missions means pursuing support raising. And support raising is hard! Exasperating the situation, there is a very common idea in America that if God wants something to happen he will provide the money quickly. For most of us, support raising takes a long time. This can be extremely discouraging. People (even close friends) can be suspicious of you, avoid your phone calls, and sometimes just outright reject you. But reflect with me on a conversation a missionary told me he had on the field with one of his Bible translation helpers:

National: (realizing the amazing truth of the Scripture for the first time) Have you had this book for your whole life?
Missionary: Yes
National: Did your father have this book?
Missionary: Yes
National: Did your grandfather have this book?
Missionary: Yes...

Though he never came out and said it, the national was coming to the realization that we have had the Bible for generations. And yet this was the first missionary to come to his people. And to what shall we attribute this delay? Not wanting to raise support? Fear of awkwardness? The uncomfortable feeling of asking people for money? Fear of rejection?

There are three truths that spurred us on as we were support raising: 1) God loves the nations, 2) God's church loves what God loves, 3) God has infinite resources. We had to remind ourselves of these things because they did not seem to be true at times. If you are pursuing missions know confidently you are seeking after something that God loves. As you ask Christians for help, appeal to the heart of Christ that is in your both. And pray to God as the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. His delay in giving you funds may have more to do with your need to understand your dependence and less to do with a closed door.

3. Family. As we progress towards Africa, I am very fortunate to have parents that are very supportive. However, many parents are not supportive. I have seen how hard it is for those people who have parents that are not Christians and think it is the craziest thing in the world to go into missions. And it is perhaps even harder for those wo have Christian parents that reject and sometimes even forbid their children to move overseas. 

I believe that at times seeking after Christ can look like hatred. Jesus said,

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).

When it comes down to it, God's Kingdom is worth more than my kids, and my mom, and yes, even my own life. And God has actually told us in his Word that following after him will sometimes divide families. Perhaps through time and prayer you can pursuade your family members to approve of missions. But even if they do not, remember: loss of family is not something new to the life of the Church. Rather than redirecting your steps through your family, God may be calling you to trust him and lose everything.

In Sum
I have come to realize that I encounter "closed doors" nearly every day in my life. But when my car does not start in the morning, I do not assume that it the leading of the Lord for me to not go to work. No, in truth we live in a fallen world. And in this fallen world things act...fallen. Cars do not start in the morning. Passports get lost in the mail. Mission agencies reject us. Parents get mad. Our kids get sick. And when these things happen we pray, ask for help, and find a way to press forward. My challenge today for those pursuing missions is to FIRST consider stumbling blocks to be hurdles and seek to overcome them. There has never been a missionary that made it to the field without changing plans a million times. And should the Lord in the end direct your steps away from missions, let it be at the end of our excertions instead of at the beginning.

My goal here is sincerely to be helpful and encouraging. I want to think rightly about missions and the stumbling blocks along the way. And I want my friends to know that through these 9 years of ploughing to get to the mission field the Lord has shown his power in our weakness and inability and in the failures of our plans. And I am begging him to continue to do that as we seek to be flexible and in his strength to jump over whatever hurdles may be in the way.

[Video] An Awkward French Life Update